The Struggle is Real my Friends

For those of you who know, I LOVE BOYS. Like a lot. Well duh, I'm a girl, right? I mean, I've got my Writing class boyfriend, my Child Development boyfriend, my Anatomy Lecture boyfriend, my Anatomy Lab boyfriend, my church boyfriend and my celebrity boyfriend. You may ask, how does one balance all of these boyfriends??? Well the answer is simple, I don't actually talk to them. The key is to admire from a far, "touch with your eyes" if you will. By now, you probably feel sad for me, which is typical, but I assure all of you concerned citizens, I'M WORKING ON IT. Obviously, my flirting skills are deplorable because well, we are talking about me here; "Smooth" is not necessarily a trait of mine (exemplified in my recent "boy advice" to friends).

Obviously we have this "boyfriend-hunting" thing totally down

Many people have offered me suggestions on how to attract said "boys" but none of it seems plausible. Unfortunately due to my recent diagnosis of R.B.F. (see description here, (excuse the profanity)), or perma-crust, it has come to my attention that without making a conscious effort of smiling and looking friendly, I come across as "unapproachable" to strangers. So, moving forward with this new advice, I give it a go.

New day comes, this time, I'm gonna walk around with a smile and charm the pants off everyone I see. Then I learned something, smiling is a lot harder than one would think. Not only is it in your mouth, but you must smile with your eyes, your cheeks, and even your body language... Wow! who would have thought. So I give it my best effort, and I will tell you, smiling does make you seem more approachable. Unfortunately, my approachers were not always pleasing. For example, in one class, a cute boy approaches, I smile, we exchange names, majors, and hometowns (the usual). Obviously we were hitting it off and I was getting my flirt on (well, what seems like flirting to me). He told me about going to medical school next year and we talked about our common interests and I was sure that this was the man of my dreams, THE ONE (I'm quick to fall in love apparently.) Imagine my horror and embarrassment when boyfriend tells the person next to us that he chose medical school in Texas because that is where his WIFE is from. HIS WIFE!!!!! I made a rookie mistake and I did not ring-check. For those of you who have/are attending BYU, you know that the ring check is a necessity. Yes, there are A LOT of handsome men here, but once those boys come home from their missions, they get snatched up fast. The ring check is a must. Moving on, I continue on, ending my "relationship" with the married man. 

Today, I sit down in my class next to my cute friend, Carly. I make a conscious effort to adjust my body in a "friendly position" (no arms crossed, or shoulders slumped) and shine my pearly whites. Cute boy enters, and finds his seat right next to mine. We exchange glances, class has started so we can't really talk, but the tension was there. Our legs bumped, shoulders touched, my goodness, it was like we had been together for weeks... I glance over to his computer to see if I can find his name on it. It's Nathan. Like only the hottest name ever. Conveniently we are talking about babies and genetics, and naturally my mind goes to think about Nathan and my future children. They would have my dark hair and his piercing blue eyes. I mean, c'mon talk about excellent genes. All of a sudden, I notice Nathan's hand creep up to his face. Maybe his wiping something off of his face. Well, maybe his scratching his nose. Nope, yep he is definitely picking his nose. Okay, you know what, that is gross but if we are gonna be honest, sometimes its necessary to quickly pick your nose and fix the problem. I forgive him. Wait, He is going back for more???? This time, I look at him to make sure this is really what is happening and it was. My perfect Nathan was picking his nose in public, sick. But no, he doesn't stop once I stare but continues on for what seemed like an eternity (in reality, probably like 2 minutes, but still). I am ashamed that I ever planned my children with this public nose picker. I now notice that his finger has been removed from his nostrils and are not returning to his side but rather headed towards the mouth. HE ATE HIS BOOGERS PEOPLE!!!! At this point, I am literally sick. One of the things that really grosses me out is boogers ESPECIALLY when placed in the mouth. For a child, that is disgusting. For an adult in public, I have no words. 

So in conclusion, I have decided that my many boyfriends with whom I don't converse, are some of the smartest, kindest, and funniest people I have met. I know I sound crazy, but really can you blame me when things like this happen. I am open to anymore "boy advice" you may feel I need to know because well, Valentine's day is coming, I'm poor and all my other boyfriends can't pay for dinner... But please, help a sister out because the struggle is real my friends. All I want is a perfect tall, dark, and handsome man, who is smart, funny, polite, talented, successful and isn't married (also willing to wait a couple years for me to return home from the mission), Is that too much for a girl to ask??? 

Attitude of Gratitude

Since it's Sunday, I have been reflecting on all the things I am grateful for. In an effort to be positive (just regular mood positive, not like positive for drugs or anything), I felt it would be good for me to share with you the things that I am grateful for, because obviously if you focus on the good things then you will become less aware of the bad or annoying things in life (like BYU police).

So this week I am grateful for:

1) School. I am really grateful for school despite the fact that it kicks my trash sometimes. Because of school, I will be able to have a job one day and not have to live in my parent's home for the rest of my life. And friends, I finally got my schedule arranged the way I wanted it and am in all the classes I want to be in. I am especially grateful for not very much homework this week, because things like this can happen and its okay.

Thank YOU Aubrey. 'preciate it. 

2) Also, ditching school. On Thursday, my sister-in-law asked me if I could watch my niece, Liesl, while she went to a lunch in Provo. Duh. That one was easy, Of course! Yeah, yeah, I was supposed to go to school or something that day but really how could I not spend time with this angel.

I mean, really. You can't blame me. 

All I missed was Book of Mormon, and we learn about the gospel in that class and one of the main teachings of the gospel is the importance of families, so it would have actually been sinful for me not to spend time with her (think about it). Liesl and I hung out at the dorm for a little while, then took a walk around campus for a while. People kept stopping me to tell me how beautiful she was. (yeah, I know! Thx) It's true what the movies say, BABIES ARE CHICK MAGNETS. Unfortunately for me, they aren't really men magnets. Shame. 

3) Chocolate Cake. In return for watching Liesl, Corinne brought me a piece of chocolate cake from Magleby's. I had never been there before but you better believe I will be trekking to my car soon to get some more cake. But really, People of the Universe, you MUST try this cake (and no, I am not getting paid by Magleby's to say this because that would be just a waste of money considering that only my mom reads this).

I got cake for watching a cute child. WIN WIN WIN ALL AROUND

4) I am grateful for my friends. I have pretty much always been blessed with FANTASTIC friends and there has been no exception since coming to BYU. I have met really great people here and made really great friendships. Especially with Courtney and Lynnette. We pretty much find a way to see each other everyday. This weekend we went and saw Unbroken. Such. A. Good. Movie. Courtney was REALLY STRESSED OUT after the movie because it's pretty intense, but I just wanted to see it again. There were really handsome men in that movie. Like a lot of REALLY good looking guys.

wow

yeah

so cute

very nice

ugh. so handsome

kill me

Like REALLY ATTRACTIVE men

Oh yeah, and the message of the movie was good too. After we went and saw the best movie ever. We came back to hang out with Aubrey but girlfriend went to bed at 9. On a Friday. But its okay, we forgave her. Then we went to the only place open in Utah after 10. Wal-Mart. Orem Wal-Mart is kinda creepy and even more so at night, so we left. My friends are also very patient with me, so much so that they let me wash my car at midnight and patiently waited as I shampooed mats, cleaned tires, windows and the outside of my car (don't worry it rained the next day so it was all in vain). But yeah, that pretty much sums up a typical night with us. We have fun. 

Like I said, they are VERY patient with me.

5) Finally, I am grateful for my family. I love my family like a whole bunch. This past weekend, My siblings (minus Rachel unfortunately) and I got to drive to California together sans parents and children. I love my parents and I love the small children of the family, but it was a lot fun to spend some time with them. I have really been blessed with a great family. I am definitely one of those people that would rather spend time with their family than anyone else. Pretty much because they laugh at all of my jokes. Walker and I grew up together (the rest of my siblings are a lot older than me) and I was watching some videos he used to make the other day. It made my heart melt. He was so cute back then. Take some time and enjoy a little glimpse of the MANY lego videos he used to make.

"He's an awesome clone. Love him a lot"

"But it's America, We'll make it."

Yeah, I know. He used to be SO CUTE. Now he's like really tall and stuff and has lots of girlfriends and lots of hormones (we've all been there). I still love him even though he is way cooler than the rest of our family. 

Obviously his style is somewhat perplexing to us. #dadjokes

To end this post, I'll give you all something to be grateful for. Be grateful that a picture like this does not exist of you. Lynnette is very good at documenting practically EVERYTHING (sometimes good, mostly bad for example, her last blog post and this picture).

 #loveyourselfie

A Spiritual Message (in a way)

Friends, let me tell you, there are plenty of things that I love about BYU. I'm not going to list them because that would be annoying. Instead, I am going to tell you about what I hate about BYU. The police. Every time I see a car drive by, I'm sick, rage overwhelms me and engulfs my entire body and I have consciously refrain  myself from attack. Although, this is a SLIGHTY dramatized expression of my emotions, I feel it is neccessary for the point I am trying to make.

I have a lot of feelings.

It all began when I first started attending BYU this summer. A wide-eyed, freshman trying to figure out the whole college thing, "what to take, what to wear, what to eat, how to act, how to make friends, how to get good grades, where to live and most importantly, where to park. If you are familiar with New Heritage Dorms, you know that there is essentially no parking despite the fact that thousands of students live in these dorms, but it's fine, whatever, I'm over it. Anyway, parking for new heritage is about 25 miles away, give or take 23 miles. I don't like that because I'm lazy. It's that simple. Sorry that I don't like carrying my grocery sacks for miles and miles. So, like the "rebellious" person I try to be sometimes, I decided to try to cheat the system a little and find parking a little closer in a huge lot, where I thought for sure campus police wouldn't find me. Wrong. They found me and I got my first ticket. But I kept calm and carried on and found a differnt parking area where I could get away with parking in the wrong zone. Along comes fall semester and I show up a more seasoned freshman, smarter than the ones that follow me. I know where you can park and the police won't find you, they aren't that strict. Wrong. I got another ticket. At this point I'm informed if I get 7 tickets within one year I am 1) fined $200 instead of $20 and 2) my car will be banned from campus. I decide to try to figure out parking and instead of just listening to the angel on my shoulder, I side with the devil himself. I try to find loopholes (oh, how I was so foolish in my youth.) In the process of finding these "loopholes" I manage to get 3 parking tickets in the matter of 2 days. If you are following along still, that adds up to 4 TICKETS IN ONE WEEK. At this point I'm pretty sure BYU Police are specifically looking for my car. If you are good at math, you have added up that I have 5/6 tickets that won't get me in trouble. Having gone through this trial, I humble myself, repent, and go forth being obedient to the law. I began to recognize the blessings from my newfound obedience. My ankles were becoming a little more shapely from the exercise (not really), I built friendship with fellow parkers as we treked back to the dorms and eventually BYU opened up parking to Heritage residents a whole mile closer. God is real people and He blesses you for being obedient (but really, He does.) I went a whole 4 months without any tickets. 

Winter Semester comes along, this time I'm a sophomore. I'm wiser but also more proud. Satan tempts me once more and coaxes me into parking in a unauthorized zone close to my dorm. I had bags of groceries and it was 11 o'clock at night and it's cold. I could potentially get murdered, kidnapped, or even frostbite. It was best that I didn't park a mile away. I parked in a sort of hidden spot where I assumed the police wouldn't find me. A girl from my building parked right next to me and I felt at peace about my decision. I thought, "well, they aren't gonna give us BOTH a ticket!" So having talked myself into it, I walk a few feet to my dorm and return safely to home. I get up early this morning to move my car just to be safe. I look at my new friend's car, no ticket. I felt relived. I get into my car, pleased with fact that I got away with it. Turn on my windshield wipers to get the frost of and see a ticket wiping my window, sort of waving itself at me in a way. I was right. The police weren't going to give us both a ticket. They just gave me one. Once again, I was humbled, realizing there is no way to get away with being disobedient. My car is now parked in its respective zone, free from the reigns of parking violations. 

In some ways this is almost a spiritual experience. I'm keeping this story on hand for future talks and lessons. Basically the lesson we can all learn from this is, If you are not obedient, you will be singled out and be punished severely. Amen. 

Here it goes...

I decided to give the blogging thing a shot. I'm only like 7 years behind the trend, but thats pretty typical for me. Hopefully my pursuits of a blog will land me "Mormon-Mommy-Blogger" fame but I doubt it considering I am a single college student, but I am Mormon so I have that at least going for me. So here it goes....